Where is the mercy?
My sil, as previously mentioned, is unexpectedly pregnant. I'm trying to be the bigger person and go out of my way to offer advice. After many failed attempts to get her to call us, we have resorted to communicating through email. Why don't we call her? Well, they would have to have a working phone long enough for us to do so. Yes, you read that right, they cannot even afford to keep a phone turned on. This could make for a very interesting scary labor and delivery. This week she emailed me asking if I had gotten the twins' pictures taken yet (professionally). No, that will come before Christmas. I used this to my advantage and asked a million pregnancy questions, which just left me feeling more and more saddened not only personally but for her baby.
First, she *thinks* she is 10 weeks pregnant. How wonderful would it be to not even know you were pregnant? Instead we become obsessed with every little detail of becoming and staying pregnant that we know the exact date we conceived, because for us it is an exact science. Detailed plans of how and when you can hopefully conceive, where is the excitement in trying? Unfortunately, for us it is stripped away and we are faced with the anxiety of timing it all just perfectly or we will have missed our chance and have to start all over again; and we are left almost emotionless for fear of getting too excited over something that just may not be.
Then, for the lucky ones, you get a BFP and jump for joy for a short moment before you are quickly snapped back into reality realizing that unfortunately it may not last. We instantly call the doctor dying to get in to hear our HCG levels. You wait for the call, or you call obsessively waiting for an update. Praying that your number falls between normal, and preferably on the higher side of normal. Still not good enough, we have to have our next HCG level checked to make sure the levels have doubled. Then, we wait....and we wait....and we wait....counting down the weeks until our appointment to verify that there is truly a live baby growing inside. Still not good enough. We stress in between each appointment fearing the worst, and then start to panic as soon as we head into our appointment, and finally sigh when everything still seems to be going ok, all of a sudden we are worrying again as we drive home from the appointment. It doesn't end until we are actually holding a healthy, living, breathing, baby in our arms.
My sil, and so many more, do not even have an ounce of anxiety or negative thought in their head. They walk around forgetting that they are even pregnant and unsure of when their next appointment is, because to them it is an unwanted surprise. They are only thinking about how they'll make it work once the baby is here, welfare. The whole process of making a baby is just sex, something they choose to do forenjoyment, it's not a job that has to be done on such and such date at such and such time. I try to be involved, I'm trying to be excited, but when my sil doesn't even seem remotely phased about being pregnant, not even knowing when you typically have an anatomy scan done, it's like having your heart ripped out by one of the villains in Heroes. No mercy has bestowed you, you suffer a slow, painful death. I'm saddened beyond words for myself and so many more....
