Letting it out

Where is the mercy?

My sil, as previously mentioned, is unexpectedly pregnant.  I'm trying to be the bigger person and go out of my way to offer advice.  After many failed attempts to get her to call us, we have resorted to communicating through email.  Why don't we call her?  Well, they would have to have a working phone long enough for us to do so.  Yes, you read that right, they cannot even afford to keep a phone turned on.  This could make for a very interesting scary labor and delivery.  This week she emailed me asking if I had gotten the twins' pictures taken yet (professionally).  No, that will come before Christmas.  I used this to my advantage and asked a million pregnancy questions, which just left me feeling more and more saddened not only personally but for her baby. 

First, she *thinks* she is 10 weeks pregnant.  How wonderful would it be to not even know you were pregnant?  Instead we become obsessed with every little detail of becoming and staying pregnant that we know the exact date we conceived, because for us it is an exact science.  Detailed plans of how and when you can hopefully conceive, where is the excitement in trying?  Unfortunately, for us it is stripped away and we are faced with the anxiety of timing it all just perfectly or we will have missed our chance and have to start all over again; and we are left almost emotionless for fear of getting too excited over something that just may not be. 

Then, for the lucky ones, you get a BFP and jump for joy for a short moment before you are quickly snapped back into reality realizing that unfortunately it may not last.  We instantly call the doctor dying to get in to hear our HCG levels.  You wait for the call, or you call obsessively waiting for an update.  Praying that your number falls between normal, and preferably on the higher side of normal.  Still not good enough, we have to have our next HCG level checked to make sure the levels have doubled.  Then, we wait....and we wait....and we wait....counting down the weeks until our appointment to verify that there is truly a live baby growing inside.  Still not good enough.  We stress in between each appointment fearing the worst, and then start to panic as soon as we head into our appointment, and finally sigh when everything still seems to be going ok, all of a sudden we are worrying again as we drive home from the appointment.  It doesn't end until we are actually holding a healthy, living, breathing, baby in our arms. 

My sil, and so many more, do not even have an ounce of anxiety or negative thought in their head.  They walk around forgetting that they are even pregnant and unsure of when their next appointment is, because to them it is an unwanted surprise.  They are only thinking about how they'll make it work once the baby is here, welfare.  The whole process of making a baby is just sex, something they choose to do forenjoyment, it's not a job that has to be done on such and such date at such and such time.  I try to be involved, I'm trying to be excited, but when my sil doesn't even seem remotely phased about being pregnant, not even knowing when you typically have an anatomy scan done, it's like having your heart ripped out by one of the villains in Heroes.  No mercy has bestowed you, you suffer a slow, painful death.  I'm saddened beyond words for myself and so many more....

Frickety Frack Fridays

In celebration of it being Friday, I'm going to keep up with a post every week on this oh so exciting day.  Since my mind is still mush, or maybe it always will be...I'm going to share with you all my "What the Fuck" moments of the week.

1.  Misplacing Eligh's gas drops in the dishwasher.  It was on the top rack in the bottle thingy. 

2.  Forgetting to put deodarant on (thank God I work with stinky kids anyway - no one knew if it was me or the kids). 

3.  Making coffee without the coffee grounds = water.  Ooops!

4.  Realizing 2-3 hours before dinner that I forgot to put the crap in the crockpot.  This makes for an extremely chaotic night.

5.  Forgetting to run the dishwasher at night.  You may think this is minor, but when you have two babies and 10 bottles, you need to have it washed every night before bed.  No exceptions.  Wash them by hand you say....when??

6.  Leaving your debit card at home when you are 45 minutes away = an anxiety attack.

Please feel free to add your "What the Fuck" moments of the week.

Stay tuned for next week's Frickety Frack Friday...

You decide

As posted in the previous post, Addyson is quite the little diva.  Here is an example of her diva attitude. 

D-I-V-A

Do you think she is:

    A. Stubborn

    B. Smart

    C. Manipulative

    D. Just plain cute

    E. Or all of the above

2 and 19

The twins are 2 months old today and Addyson is one day shy of turning 19 months old.  I will start with Addyson as she is only one person to describe. 

What's your toddler doing? At around 19 months, your toddler begins to understand when things don't conform to grownup ideas. She'll laugh at something that's obviously wrong — like calling a giraffe a zebra or calling a brother a sister. (We see this at night.  Typical routine for bed.  Me:  "Addyson, you ready to go "night-night?"  Addyson darts to her room and searches for the perfect book for us to read to her.  Grabs the book, runs up to her bed and waits for daddy to put her next to me under the covers.  Mommy reads the book and Addyson hands it to me to put back on the shelf.  We used to be able to give her a different book and she would be content.  Now, it has turned into a game.  Now, she wants me to ask her book by book if she wants to read it.  Mommy:  "You want to read this one?"  Addyson:  Shaking her head with a big ole smile, "No."  The way she says "No" cracks us up which just eggs her on.  She used to continue this game until I had shown her the predetermined book she had wanted, but now I end up showing her about 20 books and then stop because she doesn't quit.  We hand her a book, she throws it off the bed and we escape with her crying.  No more happy little hugs and kisses like she used to do at bedtime, but a I'm pissed that you won't play the game any more and here's the damn book you think I want, but I don't.  This too, shall pass....)   She'll also notice when something isn't quite right, like an eye missing from her stuffed bear or a new stain on the carpet.  (This is what worries me the most.  Worries, yes.  She is picking up on mommy's OCD tendencies which is both good and bad.  Good-she picks up her toys when we sing a little song.  Bad-she throws a high-pitched, ear piercing, fit when things won't go back just the way they are.  I try and tell her it is fine how it is, but she will not budge until it is just right.)  Basically, she is continuing to be a diva whose mommy and daddy can't help but think she is cute, except for when we are witnessing her throw down fits. 

Onto the twins:

Your baby can differentiate familiar voices from other sounds and is becoming a better listener. He also can show you that he's in tune with his environment. Notice how he looks to see where certain noises are coming from.  Typically they are reacting to their loud big sister, watching with their eyes bugging out, scared of what she may do. 

An ongoing conversation (although still one-sided!) can help your baby develop his sense of place. He may even watch your mouth as you talk, fascinated by how it all works. Talking to either one of them has started making them smile and cue back in return.  Cody finds this so fascinating, because he missed out on it all with Addyson.  Eligh seems to be more responsive lately with his smiles, as he manipulates us almost nightly.  How?  He'll cry and fuss and fight going to sleep, so we end up putting him in the bed with us on his boppy.  Last night once he was in bed with us after crying in his own bed, he started smiling...little turd has us wrapped around his super long fingers. 

They then go on to explain how the babies are beginning to form a schedule....which is kind of happening.  They typically wake for a feeding around 4am and head back to bed for a couple of hours.  We have been getting them to bed between 9:30 and 10:30 every night.  I'm hoping that now that the babies are actually getting their new meds as of last night (since I was an idiot and didn't realize that the little beads in the pill were not dissolving in their formula or passing through the nipples of their bottles).  Hopefully the spit up running down my arms, neck, and shoulder will cease and the babies will be more comfortable and able to sleep even longer at night.  Only time will tell.  Official 2 month appointment is next Monday --- stats to follow. 

P to the 3rd

All of the kiddos are officially on Prevacid.  Babies are on the capsule and Addyson on the solutab.  Oh, I'm reliving it all not once but twice!  Much to my surprise, I didn't have to pay anything for the prescriptions and you would think this would make me happy, but instead I grew furious.  For at least 12 months I have been paying $20 for Addyson's prescription.  To some that may not be much, but money is money in this household.  You find money that was never lost and it is like hitting the million dollar jackpot!  That serves to buy a meal, which means I don't have to cook for one night.  Since the idiotspharmacy didn't have Addyson's prescription in when I tried to pick it up I asked them about making sure both insurances were also being used for Addyson.  Come back when you pick it up and we'll make sure.  Go back (3rd visit now in less then 24 hours) and she writes down all the info and tells me to come back.  OH MY GOD!!!!  Go back and guess what it was free!  Beat your hands on the steering wheel and scream.  I had wasted a week and a half's worth of groceries!  I know that I had asked and informed the idiots pharmacy when I received my insurance.  The babies have been on it since Thursday evening and Kinsley is still soaking a few rags a day.  Laundry is just piling up even more so! 

I finished my first week of work with success.  I did not fall asleep on the job, or during my planning period, I was able to easily get back into my sarcastic mood and throw a little bit of it back at the ever sarcastic, I think I'm an adult, but don't want to be responsible, students I teach.  S-U-C-C-E-S-S. 

Cody has a long weekend and doesn't go back until Wednesday, which is damn right.  He is a Veteran and deserves the break from his ever increasing stressful job.  He also will get to spend some much needed time with the kiddos, especially Addyson.  By the time Cody gets home from work, we are typically sitting right down to dinner, cleaning up, giving Addyson a bath, and putting her to bed.  Daddy's little girl has turned into mommy's little girl this past week.  She even swatted him away and said a very defiant, booger dripping, "NO" to him when he tried to console her from one of her many spills this weekend.  Monday will be good for them all.  I may just have to stay late that day just to make sure he gets in all that extra daddy time, wink wink. 

Anyone catch 20/20 on Friday night?  If so, you had the honor of viewing a yellow-hammerbeautiful town near my hometown.  What were your opinions about the case?  Do you think the father killed his daughter? 

I'm out, Kinsley fell back to sleep.